I used it to watch “Knight Rider” and “MacGyver” as a kid in the 80s because they were adventurous and chivalrous, Indiana Jones-type protagonists with bona ride missions to accomplish assigned by their benign wise bosses, of mercenaries of good causes for the Pax Americana.
But regardless of the zeitgeist of the 80s, both shows were distinguished by their use of wits rather than guns. They were modern-day Western shows minus firearms and horses, in which good guys fought off bad guys and continued their journeys as romantic wanderers.
To calling back yesterday, there were remakes of my favorite TV shows, but alas, the spirit of yesterday was not summoned with a wishful bid time return. You can never go back to yesterday.
Don’t say good night, for you will not see it, you’d better not say it it’s better that way so your spirit won’t leave for a night’s work across the starry skies riding on the moonlit waves of silence to the ghosts, it knows from your pasts you know not to inform them of your secrets deepest, darkest. So, you see it better that way that you say not good night at least for a while and let not your spirit tell it all to the ghosts haunting you even if you do not want.
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
Three books that have planted Tree of Golden Apples in my mind’s garden are the following elementals:
1. Recollections: An Autobiography by Viktor Frankl – Dr. Frankl was the father of Logotherapy, one of the three Viennese Schools of Psychotherapies, who practiced what he believed and experienced. Far from an armchair scholar in the Ivory Tower out of touch with the crowd, Dr. Frankl gave hope, not as a delusional escape from the burdens of reality or dangerous daydream, such as Thuclides defined as the nature of hope, but as a beacon of light in the darkness of the soul crying for help. It’s because he was a survivor of the hell on earth, called Auschwitz, and other circles of hell under Nazi-ruled Austria. He wrote other books, which I have read, but this book pales others because it shows him not as a scholar but as a human soul whose spirit we all possess and, therefore, can relate to.
2. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte – This is the book I can never get bored with. Since I received the book at the tender age of twelve in Korea, I have always loved it and returned to it when I feel lonely, very lonely, and lonely in this big, wide, cold world. Jane is my soul sister, and we have things in common. And I see what kind of woman Charlott Bronte was different from many people who like to claim. I like her works more than her contemporary peer, Jane Austen.
3. Why I Write by George Orwell – This is a small pamphlet-like book. I carry it around when I feel like doing nothing, yet doing something resourceful and thoughtful to keep myself from mentally procrastinating. People tend to think writing belongs to intellectuals when it isn’t. It’s a record of personal existence through written communication to express one’s inner world within the outer world. But many people, including professionally established writers, like to think that writing is a form of art that belongs to the ether. It’s not, and the purpose of writing is simple. Orwell’s points of view agree with mine.
These are the books that I always come back like trusty bosom friends who can keep secrets besides my two cats.
I get nervous with people. Many people, a few people, or just one person of no or little acquaintance. Not because I am misanthrope but because I don’t want to make a fool of myself by opening up a conversation that no one may be interested in.
I also become nervous when alone in crowds, making me feel like a visible target for being a loner that no one takes an interest in talking to. It’s not because of low self-esteem that is automatically associated with such a tendency. Instead, it’s a survival instinct not to be seen as vulnerable in public.
Given the above, I am a paradox, half moon, half sun, north-west, south-east, making me neither wholly human nor entirely ethereal. Or I may be a changeling, a human-born, a fairy-bred, which makes me less nervous about who I am or may be.
What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?
When I feel like I have plunged into the lowest abyss and hope is just a vain, dangerous illusion, I watch supernatural movies or funny comedy shows to channel the fear into scare or laughter.
Fear because it will take me to the world of those who forget they are dead and wander around in this world. Laughter is what others self-prescribe for symptoms of dark spells, but it works in most cases, like excellent over-the-counter medications to relieve temporary pain. If these do not function effectively, I opt for a coloring book or decorate my journal with stickers and other ephemerals.
However temporary the effects may be, engaging in those above surely helps me not to dwell in the pit of the most bottomless abyss and stay there for a long time.
I prefer the sea to the mountains. The sea opens my heart to infinite possibilities, imbued with mysterious hopes and yearnings. Accordingly, my dream home is an apartment with a view of the sea, preferably the Mediterranean Sea, whose image is always the Sun, the Azure Skies, and the vibrant ambiance that speaks PLESANTNESS.
I will decorate my balcony with pretty flowers and a table with a parasol to have breakfast or read books with a glass of iced coffee. My bedroom will also view the ocean from the sizeable sun-filled window. I prefer one bedroom, which is large enough to be both a home office and a bedroom. Of course, there will be plenty of space for my cats, Toro and Camille. Because of my fur babies, I dream of my dream apartment where they can roam around, run around, and play around.
There are lovely apartments with such ocean views here in Southern California, but they don’t have the same ambiance as their counterparts on the Amalfi Coast. Something about that place captures my heart, so it will be my dream to live there in my dream home with my cats. That will be lovely.
Flame, Glass and Ink are Poems, essays, and reading notes by Stefania Joori Suh 
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