What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
Illustration from Google
I’d be the one who is scared of the stars falling from the sky and the sky ceiling collapsing on the earth. I am also afraid of losing eyesight overnight if my eyes are not adequately moisturized as instucted by my ophatomologist. And what if I take a plane that will crash? Most of all, what if the world I am in now is a make-belive world, something similar to one of the Backrooms? Will all my fearsome misgivings materialize because the curse is not lifted? Are my present fears are indeed less than horrible imagings? These are my litany of fears, full of sound and fury, trying to make sense of them – in vain.
If I won the lottery, the first thing I would do is pay off all my dues in one fell swoop, just like Alexander the Great cutting the Gordian Knot with his sword in one fell swoop.
Once debt-free, then I would fix my teeth with braces. Orthodontists and dentists make fortunes because, most of the time, dental insurance does not cover the expenses entirely. That is why people do not visit them as often as they should. The ancestors of the professionals were barbers, butchers, and even cooks before the middle-class professionals replaced the aristocracy and became the new ruling class after the French Revolution. It is not to demean dentistry and its professionals out of malice. Still, the medical professionals, except for physicians who did not deal with the blood and pusses from the fleshes, were not regarded as highly as they are now. Today’s exorbitant medical and dental expenses are the pride and prestige of the coveted class status.
Finally, with the rest of the money, I will buy either a unit of an apartment with a commanding view or a townhouse with a nice little backyard well guarded by a security system somewhere in northern California, Oxnard, or Northridge. If the money’s still left, then I would use it to keep up my appearance and to go to Capri and Positano in Italy for holidays with my cats, Toro and Camille.
What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?
When I feel like having a perfect leisure time, wallowing in the luxury of permitted laziness from duties at work and home, I am a willing couch potato with my cats on each side of me, perching luxuriously just like ancient Roman patricians, watching movies I like.
My choice of movies is preferential to supernatural scares. I will not use the term “Horror Movies” because most are not supernatural but gory and macabre with too much blood. When stressed or annoyed, I watch supernatural movies, preferably based on actual events – or so they say – and willingly lose myself in them. Maybe it’s this temporary forgetfulness of the present worries that act like analgesics to numb my tired nerves. Or perhaps I am just drawn to the netherworld. Who knows, I am a closet sybyil or oracle yet to be awakened? But, no psychic or panaronamal investigator, please.
My cats seem to have no problems with my predilection for the supernatural because they are not afraid of ghosts, as cats are supernatural by themselves. They protect me from nightmares, goblins, vampires, and all the scary regulars from the dungeons and dunes.
Name an attraction or town close to home that you still haven’t got around to visiting.
It takes about an hour and 30 minutes from Los Angeles to San Diego by drive, so it’s not precisely near one another. Still, I love to visit the San Diego Zoo and Sea World on vacation.
Disneyland and Universal Studios are the closest attractions, but I want to meet the animals, including Red Pandas, Tigers, Cheetahs, and Orcas, in person! I contemplated bringing my cats to introduce them to one another, but the Zoo and Sea World policies don’t allow it, so that they will stay home. But I turn on the Wildlife videos on YouTube before going to work, so I hope it will be a vicarious encounter. Of all the animal residents at the zoo, my special interests are Cheetahs and Orcas because they are exquisitely beautiful. I heard there is a unique safari program about Cheetahs, so I look forward to it.
Wild at home: Toro and Camille from L to R
Since my life with Toro and Camille, animals – Wild or Domestic – have become friends to me, or so I feel. I think animals know and like me better.
A good leader is not only knowledgeable but also patient and understanding. The Homerian virtue of Arete was a combination of military finesse with personal integrity, which applies to today’s prompt topic.
But in reality, there are a few good men and women in leadership. Many women on the leadership level are afraid of showing traits of feminity and behave overtly professionally, berating other women whom they regard as too gentle or quiet. It is not an overtly manipulated air of aggressiveness that commands respect or attention, which the pretenders mistake.
It reminds me of Queen Elizabeth I’s Tilbury Address: “I may have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king.” You can be both gentle and firm, and that’s called wisdom. It makes a good leader.
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
I love you Toro ❤️🥰
I feel love with Toro, the Tabby General, the only one I can say, ‘ I love you.’ It’s emotionally taxing to work human’s love to be loved as if it were a quid pro quo deal or a meritocratic reward. But with Toro, it is anything but.
Of course, I also love Camille, the Puss in Black Socks, but Toro is the center of my existence. He is all love and life. Toro is the only one who sees me gladly and greets me with his little head, bunting my leg and hand forcibly, even when I am sulky and miserable. He also sleeps at my feet or sometimes next to me when I sleep as though to dispel nightmares. He knows what I am feeling inside and who I am. Looking at his eyes is seeing my soul reflected in the emerald sea sparkling with curiosity and soothing with lullaby.
I confide in Toro the maladies of my heart and secrets. Shakespeare said, “Love All, Do Wrong to None, and Trust a Few.” Toro is one of those a few I trust. I read a letter written by Elizabeth Taylor to her beloved cat who went missing after they moved to a house in California from England. I could feel her love toward her missing cat so much that it almost felt physically hurtful for the sorrow she expressed.
Toro will turn four years old this August and is in good health now, but I am also worried that he will leave me someday. I can’t imagine a world without him and life without his love. So I always ask him to live with me as long as possible and to leave this world together when our times on earth are due. There’s no one like Toro who is as kind and affectionate as he is. He is my friend and my brother. I love him so much in every universe.
Flame, Glass and Ink are Poems, essays, and reading notes by Stefania Joori Suh 
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